Rough Draft

Mililani Mauka’s Creek

            Whenever I go to Mililani Mauka’s creek my worries go away because of all the good memories I’ve had with my friends that I haven’t seen in over 2 months. I remember when we first went down in breaks to catch fish and hang out.

            We arrived at the slope leading down to the creek.  The sky was a rich sky blue that was mixed into a beautiful jagged line as it touched the sky-high trees.  After we admire the breathtaking view as we plunged into the dark cave formed by the trees.  As we made our way down the slippery mud by going inch by inch step by step while being tickled by irritating California grass.  Made me feel at home because I love to hike and get dirty.

Then you get down to the water and went downstream and ventured on to the most relaxing spot.  This is the spot that after all the things that loosen all of my worries washes away in the creeks water.  It has a beautiful little waterfall that goes into a very small but deep lake.  This makes all of my worries go away because you can swim in the smooth water while a light breeze is on your body, a soothing waterfall crashing on the big pond, and the soothing sound of the wind stroking the leaves makes me want to melt into the water and flow away.  I wish I could stay there all day with no responsibilities or worries about the horrors of life.

As I exit the soothing creek I am ready to face the cruel struggles of the world.  The creek is a place where I can relax and be myself and escape my life and go into a little world where everything is about me.

Final Draft

Mililani Mauka’s Creek

            Whenever I go to Mililani Mauka’s creek my worries go away because of all the good memories I’ve had with my friends that I haven’t seen in over 2 months. I remember when we first went down in breaks to catch fish and hang out.

            One day I woke up and knew that I was going down to hang out with my friends and fish.  I rushed to eat my delicious toast not savoring a bite because it was so wonderful and I was rushing to go to the creek. So I went to around my house bare foot on the rocky cement gathering traps, sunscreen, buckets, towel, and net. When I finally got everything together I put my swim shorts on and a faded shirt that smelled like tide, then brushed my teeth till it was white. After I left to go to Mililani Middle School where I will meet my friends then walk to the creek near Mililani Ike Elementary.

            We arrived at the slope leading down to the creek.  The sky was a rich sky blue that was mixed into a beautiful jagged line as it touched the sky-high trees.  After we admire the breathtaking view as we plunged into the dark cave formed by the trees.  As we made our way down the slippery mud by going inch by inch step by step while being tickled by irritating California grass.  Made me feel at home because I love to hike and get dirty.

Then you get down to the water and went downstream and ventured on to the most relaxing spot.  This is the spot that after all the things that loosen all of my worries washes away in the creeks water.  It has a beautiful little waterfall that goes into a very small but deep lake.  This makes all of my worries go away because you can swim in the smooth water while a light breeze is on your body, a soothing waterfall crashing on the big pond, and the soothing sound of the wind stroking the leaves makes me want to melt into the water and flow away.  I wish I could stay there all day with no responsibilities or worries about the horrors of life.

As I exit the soothing creek I am ready to face the cruel struggles of the world.  The creek is a place where I can relax and be myself and escape my life and go into a little world where everything is about me.