There are any different types
of risky business that can prevent future generations from being successful
like teen pregnancy, trends, bullying, drugs and peer pressure. But I think that the biggest problem that
will prevent future generations from being successful is teen suicide. Although teen suicide isn’t the top story in
the news but I think it needs to be addressed as the suicide rate rapidly
climbs.
On the other hand suicide isn’t a major problem. There are many reasons why but a big one is
it is preventable because you have many options now day. Like there are many websites that give you
advice on what to do if you know someone will commit suicide or you will commit
suicide. Two you can call a suicide hotline to get advice 1-800-273-8255.Lastly you can call or
visit a psychologist. But there are more reasons why it is a major problem that
needs improvement in its prevention plan.
So I
think that suicide is a major problem because of many reasons. Like even though it is very preventable there
is still much work to improve on in preventing teen suicide. There are
statistics of how harsh suicide is around the world. Statistics
say that every year almost one million people die from suicide globally. Suicide is one of the leading three causes of
death for 15 to 44 year olds is suicide.
During the last 45 years the suicide rate has gone up by 60%
worldwide. For every one suicide committed
there is about 25 suicide attempts, which means many teens have suicidal
thoughts. So that is why suicide is a
major issue that needs to be prevented better.
Out of the two arguments I have to say that the argument
that suicide is a major issue is the stronger argument because there are more
facts and they are stronger. Like Statistics
say that every year almost one million people die from suicide globally. Suicide is one of the leading three causes of
death for 15 to 44 year olds is suicide.
During the last 45 years the suicide rate has gone up by 60%
worldwide. For every one suicide
committed there is about 25 suicide attempts, which means many teens have
suicidal thoughts. So I side with the
issue is a big issue that needs to be prevented better because the rate is
rapidly increasing.
Since the rate of suicide is increasing in the world
there is need for much improvement in how we prevent it because if we don’t the
rate will increase start to increase like how the past 45 years the rate
increased by 60% but with luck we can change that and bring it down way
below. We may not be able to stop it in
all. But it may be able to lower it a
lot.
Im going to guess and say that you you were aiming for the chunky paragraph format?
ReplyDeleteThe information you provided is very accurate and well elaborated. But if you were doing the chunky format, then you could try putting the information in the three body paragraphs and explain your reasoning twice while you're at it. Overall, I think its very satisfying and exceptional.
STOP USING "I"...I is only used for creative or personal writing. We know it is you writing the paper, you do not need to state that. Try to work on smoother transitions. "On the other hand suicide isnt a major problem" is to harsh of a transition after just stating that it is a problem in your thesis statement. Your first body paragraph doesn't tell use how it isn't a major problem but ends up being tips for people that want to commit suicide. This is a pro-con essay not a informational brochure. You have facts but need to provide more reasoning. Please read over essay and make changes to entire essay. AS(2)
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